Posted May 6, 2025
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, “Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) usually involves a persistent feeling of anxiety or dread, which can interfere with daily life. It is not the same as occasionally worrying about things or experiencing anxiety due to stressful life events. People living with GAD experience frequent anxiety for months, if not years.”
This was my experience with anxiety. It was frequent for years, and it consumed me to the point that I worried constantly, had panic attacks, and specifically had an extremely hard time handling any and all social situations. It felt like I was constantly spiraling into a deep, dark abyss, and there was no way out. But over time, I have discovered that looking for a way out is pointless. Oftentimes the more you try to avoid something, the more persistent it becomes. What has helped, however, has been accepting it for what it is, and learning how to do life with it. It has been a hard, ongoing journey, but it has been so worth it. And there are some particular things that have helped me to make ‘friends’ with anxiety rather than see it as an enemy to try to fight or escape from.
Firstly, figure out which things/situations/people/etc. tend to provoke the most anxiety. This could mean brainstorming, or simply taking note of things as they come. For example, when I sat down and really thought hard about it, I was able to really nail down a lot of situations that I often felt the most anxious in, such as going to restaurants, ordering food, reading in front of people, large crowds of people, sudden changes of plans, talking to several people at one time, introducing myself to people, practically any social event, and many others.
Secondly, acknowledging anxious thoughts/feelings for what they are: simply thoughts and feelings. Anxiety itself is not a danger to you, and as soon as you start seeing it that way the easier it is to accept. Recognizing anxiety for what it is gives you a certain power over it and helps you to not let it steal your joy.
And thirdly, if you’re feeling particularly rebellious, consider welcoming anxiety as though it were an old friend. In my experience, this catches it completely off guard and gives you even more power over it that you otherwise don’t get. Don’t over-identify with anxiety – but don’t hesitate to get to know it deeply. Claim it as yours. Name it.
After battling worry and stress for years now, I truly believe that if it’s something you’re going to live with for a long time, you might as well call a truce and put energy into knowing it inside and out rather than into trying to fight it off as though it’s an evil monster. Befriending it means paying attention to what it’s telling you, but not giving it more meaning than it’s meant to have. It means working with it, not against it. Fighting it has gotten me nowhere. Making peace with it, however, has given me more freedom from it than I ever had.
the fire journey 