the fire journey

Posted January 1, 2025

Anxiety is something I have dealt with my whole life. It makes socializing extremely difficult, and even affects normal everyday things like going to the grocery store, going to appointments, eating out in restaurants, and being in large crowds of people. Sensory overload is a whole problem in itself; I’m very sensory sensitive so it’s easy to get overwhelmed by noises, smells, and feelings.

And as someone who fights anxiety almost every day, I’m well aware of the many verses in the Bible that speak to worry, trusting God, and knowing that He is in control. Joshua 1:9 says, “Do not be afraid or discouraged…” Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything…” Matthew 6:34 says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself…” These are just a few snippets of the many verses that mention fear and worry.

As true as they are, people often quote verses like these as pertaining to clinical anxiety disorders, and I don’t believe this is the correct interpretation. For me personally, hearing those verses put in this context all the time can be very disheartening, and this is why: social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder are not something we can control. Anxiety disorders are not your everyday stress or occasional worry; they can not only involve environmental and situational factors but can be physiological and even genetic.

But even though anxiety is not something we can control, there is one thing I believe we can control: what we do in the midst of it, which means whether we choose to have courage or not. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, courage is defined as the “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.” What’s important about this definition is that it is not synonymous with fearlessness. Courage is what you choose to do despite fear. For me, sometimes being courageous means merely getting out of bed in the morning. Sometimes it means going to work even though I know sensory difficulties are going to cause me a lot of stress. Sometimes it means going to the grocery store and braving the crowds of people even though it has given me anxiety attacks in the past.

I have also learned that utilizing any and every tool I have to be courageous is completely okay. For some of us, that means going to therapy or taking prescribed medication. Sometimes getting out of bed in the morning means I have to bribe myself with a reward. I use earplugs at work and take extra breaks because the noise and sensory overload get too overwhelming. I bring my earbuds and listen to my music when I go to the grocery store because it helps to keep me grounded and focused. And sometimes going into a particularly anxiety-provoking situation, I pull out all the stops by wearing my most comfortable clothes, making sure I have my fidget spinner on hand, and utilizing my entire arsenal of coping skills. These are the ways I have figured out how to have courage in the midst of my anxiety.

However, I don’t recommend pushing yourself further than is healthy for you – only you know how far is too far for you personally. When it comes to anxiety, just as everyday life and facing fears take courage, sometimes saying “no” and choosing self-advocacy takes courage as well when you know that a certain situation is just going to make you spiral or put you in a dangerous mental space.

I used to be so afraid that the fact I was still battling anxiety – and sometimes having to say no to doing certain things – meant I was failing God. But I have come to believe that as long as we face anxiety with courage, we are doing the best we can do, and God knows that. God knows how difficult even anxiety disorders can be because he knows us completely. “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me,” says Psalm 139. “You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.” And what has been the biggest encouragement to me is that even though He knows about all our struggles, nothing can separate us from His love. I particularly appreciate the way The Message Bible paraphrases Romans 8:38-39:

“I’m absolutely convinced that nothing – nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable – absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.”